Feature

The ancient and the modern, the polite and the perverse - the contrasts and extremes of Japan make any trip there something of an adventure.

Luckily, Japan is, by and large an incredibly safe place, but it is confusing to the uninitiated. If you're planning a trip there, you've surely read or been given stacks of advice already, so this is our alternative and (sort of) educational guide for maximising fun, ease and survival.

The most important thing: Restaurants

If you can't read Japanese and there's no English/Romanised menu, don't worry as you may be able to pick your choice dish from the incredibly lifelike plastic models in the restaurant window. It's fun and only mildly embarrassing.

Lots of people will be keen to tell you that you shouldn't stand your chopsticks up in your bowl as the action symbolises death. This is true and is well worth noting, but there are many other subtleties in the etiquette of public dining in Japan. However, it will usually be abundantly obvious to staff that foreign visitors are not Japanese and therefore not expected to know all the ins and outs, so relax. But don’t tip – the chances are you'll need to pay at the front desk anyway. Nevertheless, if you really liked your service you might be tempted to leave a little something on the table for the waitress or waiter. Just don’t be surprised if a member of staff chases you down the street to return your ‘forgotten’ change to you; this does happen.

The nitty gritty: Toilets

If money’s no object and you’re staying in a nice hotel, the chances are your toilet seat will greet you warmly. Literally. It may even take the trouble to clean itself, so don’t be alarmed if it starts whirring and moving when you’re done. In the likely event that it has a built-in bidet function you may be curious as to how that works. To save you getting a jet of water in the face and on the bathroom ceiling, we can tell you that the jet comes from a small retractable pipe inside the bowl.

If you're staying at a Japanese ryokan or you're out and about, you may find that an establishment’s facilities feature only one Western-style sit-down loo, which seems to be the most popular cubicle. If you’re forced (or are happy) to go traditional with the squatty style, just be sure to remove the change from your pockets.

Also, if you're offered packs of tissues on the street, take them, as you may find that toilet paper is conspicuously absent from many public restrooms. Carrying a small hand towel, handkerchief or flannel is advised as well, due to the lack of hand dryers or paper towels. This is an especially good tip for winter travellers as the water in the taps is usually close to freezing.

Gents, if you’re wondering why the urinals are clearly visible from the WC's open entrance, this is an ancient security measure. You wouldn’t want ninjas jumping out at you when you’re dying to go, now would you?

The traditional experience: Onsen and Sentō

For those who like to take the plunge, a visit to a public bath house is one of the best ways to enjoy the "real Japan". Of course, like anywhere else in Japan, there's etiquette involved and here, for hygiene reasons, it really is important. Japanese people are not used to seeing too many foreigners at the baths, so you'll want to look like a pro.

First of all you'll want to take two towels, one small for modesty and washing, and a larger one for drying. If you're visiting an ordinary neighbourhood sento, you'll probably need soap. Natural hot spring onsen will usually be well equipped with soap and shampoo. Once you’ve got your shoes off and paid the ticket machine or smiley lady (onsen) or the grumpy old person (sento), you'll want the blue door/curtain if you’re male and the red if you're female.

When you're stripped, take that small towel and enter the bathing area. Don't even think about going near that steaming, ever-so inviting bath just yet. Instead sit yourself down on a stool at one of the washing stations along the wall. Now lather up, scrub vigorously, use the small towel to get in-between your toes and anywhere else hard to reach, really give yourself a good going-over. There's a shower head in-front of you, but for effect, fill up the bowl/bucket that should also be close to hand and tip that over your head. Now shower everything off. Then -especially if anyone is in an adjacent bay - repeat the entire ritual, ensuring that you can't possibly be mistaken for being anything other than spotless and 100% uncontaminated. Take as much time as you possibly can. Finally, make sure there are no visible traces of soap left anywhere about your person, and ease yourself into the bath, confidently nodding acknowledgement to other patrons who look your way. Yes it may have seemed like a hassle, but you’ll know that they know that you know “the way”. And believe me, those baths are good.

One final note of warning: if you’re a decorated body art enthusiast, check signs at the entrance as many public baths won’t allow tattooed patrons due to associations with yakuza (the Japanese equivalent of the Mafia).

A memento of modern Japan: Purikura

Ever posed, pulled silly faces or made rude gestures in a passport photo booth with your friends or significant other? Purikura, which can be found in most games arcades and shopping centres across Japan, is like that, except it's Japanese and therefore more advanced and more fun. (The name is an abbreviation of Purinto Kurabu, which is in turn a transliterated/mangled version of “Print Club” - one of several examples of where Japanese has 'borrowed' a phrase from English that actually means nothing in English.) What purikura gives you that its more functional forebears don't is the ability to choose from an almost infinite number of dazzling and daft backgrounds, with the added option of drawing and decoration afterwards. Plus, the photos themselves are stickers!

So, if you're looking for a cheap memento of Japan, purikura is perfect. In fact the whole purikura booth experience is something like a microcosm of Tokyo life, with its frantic pace and hyperactive assault on the eyes and ears. Of course, you will have trouble with the instructions, but that offers the bonus benefit of mild but strangely enjoyable confusion - your very own Lost In Translation moment.

Here's a brief rundown of how it all works: First, find and choose a booth (the pictures and colours on the side or on the PVC curtain will offer some clue as to what kind of backdrops and adornments it offers). Take a deep breath and step inside, put your money in, select backgrounds from the touch screen in front of you – not sure how many you’re allowed? – press until it won't let you press any more. Pose – quickly! – the young lady inside the speakers will shout "San! Ni! Ichi!" and the camera will flash. Rearrange yourselves quickly, she’ll shout again. Repeat until she seems to have stopped and your pictures appear in front of you on the screen. Touch the ones you like to select them, if you like them all, fine. Just hurry up! You may get the option of different levels of brightness next - just go with your gut feeling, or press any option. Now it should be showing you various possible layouts for the printout. Count your friends, argue with them, do the maths, press the one you've agreed on, momentarily reflect on how this must be a bit difficult even for those who speak the language.

When you're out of the booth, the real fun begins. Go to the screen round the side and pick up one of the touch screen pen thingies. When your pics appear and the countdown starts, frantically scrabble and scribble away over the top of them with bling, bowties, bunnies or whatever you can find on the menu tabs, while the clock counts you down. Act like you're playing a new martial arts video game you don't know the moves for and just bash away until it’s over. You might even win. If you want to work on a different picture, just select it from the middle of the screen. When the photos appear, find the scissors, which should be hanging nearby, divide up the photos with your compatriots and go and find somewhere that sells green tea ice cream.

For more information on Japan, visit our destination guide